Often, we battle away like we are headed for great war. Yet when we get there, the battlefield is without soldiers and we face a different type of enemy; the ambiguous sense of self-sabotage. In our persevering persistence, we can find that we end up choosing 'the war' over 'the want'.
We will foil and toil ourselves into oblivion to bang down a door that doesn’t seem to want to open. Relentlessly, our mental marvel shouts, “You have the power! Keep going!” and so, we advance like ninjas, attacking from all angles, never to give in.
But perhaps the door we are knocking at doesn’t want to be opened.
What happens if we were to step back and realise we’d arrived at the wrong address? Should we walk off in perceived defeat or keep on fighting until the mystery behind the door eludes us no longer?
My Persistent Battlefield
I remember this feeling all too well in my battle with persistence. Years and years… and years of persistent head-banging on a door that would prize ajar and then slam shut in my face. This door was agonising in its weight and presumptuous in the pleasures it kept from my grasp. I figured though, if I tried hard enough and was dedicated in every sense of the word, eventually I would be rewarded for the blood, the sweat and the tears. The many tears.
For me, this door was the desire for a child, one I stood at and persisted with for over a decade, but for each of us it will be different. This door could represent a corporate ladder climb, a parent’s approval, your children’s life choices or a relationship just beyond reach.
Can you recognise any doors, large or small, currently presenting in your life? Are they closed, creaking open or, possibly the type of most concern, revolving?
The Roles Played by Persistence
When we identify these doors in our lives, it’s time we get serious about understanding the various roles that persistence plays in unlocking them.
Persistence does not know so called right from wrong... it just is. We need to bring in other aspects of self-awareness to dial into its agenda at any given point.
Is persistence driving our ego desires?
Is persistence in support of our wildest dreams?
Is persistence living up to the inner virtues of our heart?
1. The FOMO Loyalist
Crucially, we must not face opportunities that present themselves, perceived or not, under the lens of scarcity. With that mindset, our persistent natures will force us into the lap of whatever walks our way for 'fear of missing out'. A big no, no. Be wary of your motivations and acknowledge where fear has palled up with persistence to force you through a door not in your best interest.
2. The Bullshit Barometer
Life calls on persistence to ward off the ego-mind from telling us “We are not good enough” and to move us out of a state of fearful distraction, where inertia is at its most powerful. In these times, persistence is our best friend, our comrade in arms. We can use it to go into internal battle with our conscious mind and to free up the negative chatter that prevents all action.
3. The Pushy Type
This is its starring role! When persistence feels like banging your head against a brick wall, it is time to step back and heed its shadow side.
When one comes at any task with the horns of a bull blazing, the limitations that were set in motion when you created this experience become the exact barriers which you will persist against. The option you have at this point is to reverse and re-imagine, or maintain the impetus of struggle and power as you continue to push, push, push.
Nothing can be less productive for your soul than PUSHING to get somewhere. I don’t mean a complete lack of engagement but when you require exerted effort to MAKE your dreams come true then you must start to question “Are you dreaming the wrong dreams?”
Allowance and Acceptance are Key
The opportunity one confronts when persistence marches into their path is that of allowance and acceptance. It is here to teach us when we allow and accept any situation for ‘how’ and ‘what’ it presents to us, then the true pathway will form, and the persistence we felt falls by the wayside.
PERSISTENCE IS A WARNING SIGN TO STOP, STAY OUT OF HARMS WAY AND WATCH AND WAIT FOR THE SIGNAL TO MOVE FORWARD AGAIN.
Side note: Self harm is by far the worst ‘harm’ one can attract (another blog perhaps!)
Think of persistence as a flashing, amber light at a traffic intersection. Not a complete “Halt what you are doing and turn around now” type alert, but it does suggest to the experiencer to proceed with caution. Pause momentarily to allow the obstructions to pass by and giddy up when the green light beams a new path ahead.
By taking the time to accept and allow, the experiencer creates space for new realities to formulate, where options of more abundance can flood into their timeline.
What you do not wish to see is an ample pause become a stagnant sorrow. This is not the power of positive persistence. It is not a ‘Check Out Here’ card, and it will not be the one that forgives you when you decide to take what appears to be the EASY ROAD. That easy, breezy option leads to another type of chaos I shall discuss in time. It leads to COMPLACENCY.
So, take the persistent paradox and let it guide you back to your true heart's desires. The momentum one can create when the pause of persistence is gratefully received is its charm. Time is not of the essence when persistence strikes. Stay away from the mind’s instant reaction to FIX the problem and instead step into the heart’s place of acceptance.
Watch and allow. Then act.
When you dance with persistence, make sure it is your ally and not your hidden foe. Its power lies in your discretion and its potency is evident when ease, flow and a feeling of freedom abound.