Hands up if you have spent a ridiculous amount of time staring up at the stars, praying the Purpose Fairy will descend from the darkness and wave her magic wand upon your weary head? “Poof! Here is your purpose just as you wished, perfectly packaged and ready to go!”
Ahh, if only it were that easy but checking back in, reality tells us a different story. Often the story we endure on our purposeful trek is one of struggle and dissatisfying dead ends. So, I’ve taken a moment to pull together my top 3 life lessons to #findingyourpurpose. Watch below or read on.
My personal search for purpose reared its head in my teens, when I first recognised an inner, instinctual pull to do 'something' in this world. But it became a force to be reckoned with in my 20s and 30s. It's still important to me now I've hit my 40s but it’s not as all-consuming as it once was.
How did that shift?
Programmed to Question
What is my purpose? Why am I here? I know I should be doing something, anything, other than what I’m doing now?
These questions have the power to drive us crazy and oft come with vague answers affirming we’re not amounting to ANYTHING meaningful. A far cry from feeling whole.
I liken it to having a program installed at birth, switched on and dialled up a notch each year to hone in on our PERFECT purpose in this lifetime. Default factory settings fool us into fantasy that when we locate it, there will be a party with balloons, streamers, and champagne! An explosive ah-ha moment and expectantly, life can get started. Life will be grand.
There's a spectrum we ride when it comes to finding our purpose – the program isn’t infallible. At times we can be completely ignorant and disengaged, be that by conscious or unconscious choice. We can't look outside of ourselves and essentially exist in demo mode. At these times, we have unplugged the controllers, happy to take an available but bum-numbing seat on the train. It only runs one line, looped in circle, dependable and familiar.
At the other end of the station, ALL we're worried about, thinking about, dreaming about is what we should or could be doing – this untouchable something – this thing called purpose. We are skipping lines, jumping trains, taking the front carriage, then the last one, standing, sitting, doing all we can to find the perfect seat, on the fastest train, to the ideal destination.
If you have the Find Your Purpose program running off demo-mode, you'll know it's genuinely hard to hit the kill switch. The unending questioning of your role in this world causes so much distraction from being present in what you are doing on a daily, weekly or monthly basis, depending on how often it reboots itself.
The Golden Ticket Off the Runaway Train
The golden ticket off this train is when you come to the acceptance there is not ONE RIGHT or ONE ONLY way for you to live your purpose in this life. There’s not one train, one destination nor one seat for that matter. Your purpose can mould, grow, shift and maneuverer along the way.
Key to this acceptance is releasing any feelings of failure. All of what you achieve or undertake in your life goes toward finding and living your purpose. It highlights things you DO and DON'T like along the way, narrowing down your focus. Your purpose is not measured in time or delivery. If anything, it’s measured in the number of joy-filled moments you collect, that’s when you know you’re finding your purpose.
3 ‘Find Your Purpose’ Ponders
If only hindsight could time travel, I would have saved myself years of worry!
Lesson 1: Forget about the end game
Immediately stop focusing off into the distant future or the ‘end game’. Take the time to acknowledge how everyday choices and decisions move you somewhere closer to self-fulfilment and feeling ALIVE. You'll grow into your purpose when you start making decisions that make you feel happy and inspired – decisions that come flowing from your heart. Each time you do this, a little bit more of your true self is revealed and opens the next door for you to walk through.
Lesson 2: No purpose fairy, friend or family member can TELL you your purpose
Your purpose cannot be given to you, regardless of how much you want it sometimes! It is something you must feel for yourself. No matter how many psychics, coaches, mentors, friends, and family members give you advice and direction, it’s important to remember it’s only true in that moment and is aligned to your personal energetic resonance at the time.
As free will beings, we can shift our energy or resonance instantly based on our creative power, imagination, intention, and life experience. For example, we can make ourselves feel brighter and happier by thinking and feeling loving thoughts or opposing, we can negative self-talk and lower our resonance. With such power, it stands to reason we can shift the way our purpose shows up and what we find rewarding and satisfying in any given moment.
If someone’s advice feels right for you, that's great, go for it, but don't walk down tracks and push against anything that doesn't feel right in your heart, just because you were told by someone.
You own your purpose, no one else.
Lesson 3: Don’t become limited by your PERFECT purpose – it’s not one thing!
Don't limit your fulfilment of purpose by boxing it in to a career or a role (eg. parent). In my opinion, your purpose is a feeling or a set of values you can emit across your life. It doesn’t need be one monumental or tangible achievement. Be flexible in how your purpose can be expressed and allow yourself to recognise it even in its smallest forms.
I have a purpose to help others advance in their thinking and being, and to bring happiness to others. Sometimes I'm fulfilling that in something as simple as having a conversation with a friend or a stranger I have met by chance. Other times its painting kids’ faces at a fair and still at other times, it shows up as how I go about my working life. We can get fixated on the BIG THING that becomes our legacy on this planet rather, in preference to all the little things we felt rewarded by along the way.
As we sit tight, waiting for the ah-ha and residing in a feeling of failure or missed opportunities, we neglect seeing all the wonderful ways we’ve made moves toward living a more fulfilling and valuable life on our own terms, whatever that may look like.
Every little step, every little creation that we make moves us forward into purpose. Experience the delight in watching it unfold and not the frustration of not having arrived!
The Purposeful Deer
For those that seek to use animal energy in their spiritual practice, I encourage you to call on the deer. She will offer you energetic support in opening to your purpose. Invite her into your meditations, dreams, and quiet contemplation. Take note of messages, symbols or occurrences in your life when she pops into your thoughts.
She brings her strength and determination to build a better world. Her shy demeanour, hidden amongst the trees is nothing to her strong will and sheer delight in roaming into places yet untouched. She is your strongest ALLY FOR EXPANDING ONESELF. She will lead the way with careful footings… BUT she will NOT lead you astray.
Follow the deer – she brings with her a fighting spirit, truth, integrity and direction.